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Stop slouching and stand up straight
Posted at: May/07/2010 : Posted by: mel
Related Category: My philosophy,
I am here to tell you that your mother was wrong. Did I step on something I should not have…oh well! Truth is what truth is. I know, your teeth are crooked, but your mother told you “don’t worry…it’s what’s inside that counts”. If you are old enough to read this, you are old enough to know that mothers will always love their children regardless of first impressions and lie when they need to. Think about all the opportunities you have to make a first impression. There is of course the obvious situations such as a job interview. If you show up for an interview dressed slovenly or poorly groomed, I doubt you will get a call back. You remember being told “don’t slouch”, this is a good time to heed that message. Poor posture, slouching, food in your teeth, these things will kill a job interview before it ever gets started. I know…it is supposed to be about the skills you bring, but all of us still notice and react consciously or sub-consciously to these items. The issues that make or break a first date on casual encounter with the opposite sex are really not a lot different. The reasons we generally first notice someone in public are almost always based on physical cues. The way someone dresses, how their hair is groomed, their physique are all thing that we notice and are either attracted to or turned off by. Another important aspect of first impressions is being on time. Imagine meeting someone for the first time, whether for business or personal reason and they show up 45 minutes late. Even before they open their mouth for a greeting, you are already frustrated with them and it will take a lot for them to earn that potential trust back. Often, being late will actually create mistrust implying that you should not be doing anything in the future with this person. Alternately, if the other person has been on time for lunch in your first few meetings and then shows up late, you will be more likely to give that person the benefit of the doubt, and trust that there was a good reason for being late. It’s not what you say it is how you say it! I am sure you have heard that statement a few times before. In the communication industry that is so true. What makes one TV newscaster more enjoyable to listen to? Which talk show host do you like to watch? The same also holds true for the rest of us. Our communication styles are all different but there are some techniques that can help us be the one our audience wants to remember. Voice mail messages are a good start: Most of us have at least one phone that has a message on it that we want our listeners to hear if we are not available. Some of these messages are funny, some are business-like and some are pre-recorded (canned). If you are a business owner, your message should represent your company and its brand. What do your customers and potential customers hear when they call you? Is your voice mail message friendly, upbeat, to the point, or does it sound like the person who recorded the message hates this pathetic job? All the same concerns hold true for your personal voice mail, what does it say about you? Do you think that after hearing the message instructions you have left someone will still want to contact you? Also, think about the message you leave behind on someone else’s voicemail. “Someone call me back pleeeeeaaaaaase.” No hello, no hope you’re having a good day, just a very impatient sounding message. What kind of an impression does this make if this is a first encounter? Impromptu speaking is another area to look at: No, I don’t mean you need to become an expert at making impromptu speeches, but there are plenty of those special impromptu situations in life. Whether it is stepping into an elevator, or taking the last seat in the subway car, you never know who you will end out next to. If you sit down next to the girl of your dreams and the only thing you can do is stutter and stammer…opportunity is lost. If you get on an elevator with the president of your company and all you can say is “how about that ball game last night” you have lost a great opportunity to distinguish yourself from the herd. I don’t mean to imply you should develop a pickup line or elevator speech, but without a little advanced thought, these special situations can pass by as just another opportunity lost. In the worst case these situations become a chance for you to shoot yourself in the foot leaving a very poor impression. Nowadays electronic media is a central part of how we communicate. Remember that with email there is no way to measure audience interest or frustration. Without the visual cues of body language or the audible cues of inflection it is extremely easy to put into writing something that will offend the recipient. This is of special concern when writing to someone you have little or no personal history with. This is a situation where sarcasm should be avoided since without the pragmatic cues it can be difficult to measure how you are being received. Then there is the issue of length. Too short a message and your reader feels you don’t view them as worthy of a complete sentence. Too long and you demonstrate your ability to use a lot of words to say absolutely nothing. These are especially worrisome situations when emailing a potential new employer. Your email will be among the first words they have of yours, what kind of an impression do they make? Also remember, email potentially lives “forever”, if you do it poorly it will definitely haunt you for a long time. What about alternative or new age media? MySpace, Twitter and Facebook sites have become popular with millions of people as a means of sharing experiences or views. What many people do not realize is that employers are also viewing these sites looking for information about potential candidates. You don't want an employer to see pictures of you partying, goofing off or engaging in any other kind of behavior that may be unacceptable as part of "your image." Your private behavior should probably be kept private, especially if you are currently seeking a job or a new relationship. You have some choices with these sites - you can make your site private while you're looking for work or you can clean up the content and use it as a way to promote yourself. Even in a social setting, if a girl you just met says she will call you, while waiting for the call, what will she see if she visits your Facebook page? Do you really want her to see a video clip of you with another girl? How good are your writing skills? Don’t worry, I don’t mean that you need to be able to compose a 500 page novel in 12 hours. I mean penmanship! At some point in time you are going to have to fill out an old-fashioned form or application, maybe leave a sentiment in a greeting card. Print or script, I don’t care, but legible writing including a consistent size and spacing to the characters is important. Being able to spell wouldn’t hurt. If you are unsure of the spelling, chose words you are confident in. So we are back to that whole first impression thing. I know, you are a wonderful person inside and once people know you they will see that, your mother told you so. Besides your parents and the closest friends whom you grew up with and who love you, your finer qualities may not be obvious. Without a good first impression, for everyone else your high points and best qualities may unfortunately be lost. Think about the first impression you might be making. Is it time to put away the spiked collar? Is it time to start spending 15 minutes a day on an exercise bike? Do you begin every sentence with a swear word? Maybe the blue jeans with more holes than denim should be put away for a different occasion. It may be discrimination, but all of us do form some kind of quick personal judgment about others, so stop slouching, stand up straight and please brush your teeth.
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